In Her Blood
by Yorke0593
Summary: That night was unreal to her. It was intoxicating seduction meeting the most venom filled things. It was beautiful, supposedly life changing. And yet it wasn’t. LS pair. RR Pre DH


Story by: Kassie King

Title: In Her Blood

Category: Romance/Angst

Rated: T

Summary: That night was unreal to her. It was intoxicating seduction meeting the most venom filled things. It was beautiful, supposedly life changing. And yet it wasn't. L/S. Please R/R.

That night was unreal to her. It was intoxicating seduction meeting the most venom filled things. It was beautiful, supposedly life changing. And yet it wasn't. Absently she had almost dismissed it, taking it out of her full-up memory. It was one those things that wasn't off-limits yet could **not** be considered ok.

She made herself angrier about it that he did. He very plainly ignored the consequences of unknown territory while she seethed and scolded him with her eyes. They didn't have time for that. She couldn't be blamed for the entire mishap, but she could for wanting it to happen again.

Yet again it was only him who could make her over analyze to the point of mental destruction, only him who could drive her insane. He wasn't flaming or charming or romantic or passionate. In all actuality he was rude, slimy, and slippery- but that sure didn't stop him.

He was quick witted so he escaped the harsh realities life laid before them. He didn't need to be prepared when he used his mind. He was brilliant in a disgusting way and she could only pray for him at night. He was ridiculed to the point of no return by Potter and Black, plus the rest of the Gryffindors yet her eyes were drawn to him magnetically.

He was a repulsive toe-rag; every bit as bad as Potter, but then again he wasn't. He was hidden and not in an oversensitive masked way. He was hidden because he had no idea where or who he stood for. His robes shown with green yet his heart… what did it say? Who did it belong to?

She didn't love him, no. It was more pity and curiosity. She yearned to understand him and she didn't know why. She despised Potter and Black as much as he did, but they were in her living quarters and she was learning to tolerate them. He ran deeper in her veins than Black or Potter could ever hope to. He was her blood. Oh how she despised this complexity she cried for.

It was three days ago and yet she felt still felt as though she had been hit with a stunning spell. Slowly memory flooded through her and she felt sickened.

Sirius raised his wand just above his right ear and in one quick motion swished it down pointing vehemently at Snape. The incantation "Impedimenta!" barely left his mouth when James Potter joined in spurring curses of his own.

"_Bullying wankers- sod off!" She heard herself curse in their direction. _

"_Oh Evans are you still sticking up for this slimy scum!" James Potter yelled at her. ._

"_Get outta here Potter before I make you part of that wall." _

"_That's not very nice for someone who I will eventually marry." _

"_Potter I can't even look at you without wanting to regurgitate so I highly doubt I would ever marry you!" _

"_You'll eat your words some day- I promise."  
_

_James and Sirius trotted off leaving her disgruntled and Snape stunned. _

"_Get up" Lily snapped sharply at him._

"_I didn't need your help; you little mudblood." _

"_You're right, next time I'll just let them pound your greasy hair into the ground and that will be that." _

"_I'm perfectly capable of defending myself." His voice was laced with iciness. _

"_And it is so clearly shown when you are laying on the ground face flat with no one in this bloody school to help you."_

"_I suppose now I've got to thank the almighty Evans; defender of all capable people."_

"_Just because I stood up for you doesn't mean I like you." _

"_Well I'm glad" _

"_You shouldn't be, no one likes you- you could use a friend."_

"_I have all the friends I need."_

"_Where? In you delusional head?"_

"_No, elsewhere, places you wouldn't go."_

"_Don't try me Snape"_

"_I wouldn't dare."_

_He sidestepped past her straightening his sleeve and Lily felt a wave of sympathy for the cruel boy standing in front of her. He was truly an outcast in every sense of the word and had no where to go. _

"_Snape?" she called daringly. He turned on his heel easily facing her again. _

"_What?"_

"_If for some reason you ever feel the reason to be decent to someone, there will be someone to listen"_

"_Who? Potter? Black? You're sympathy doesn't ring with me Evans, I'm fine on my own." He said sarcastically._

"_No you're not. You couldn't possibly be. Don't lie and say you don't care what everyone says because you do. It's obvious."_

"_Then how come you still hate me? See at some point you need to realize these green robes make me different from you. They make me** better **than you. So show all the empathy you want, I'm still better."_

"Once you move past that mindset, then you'll have friends."

"_Friends like you? That sounds like a barrel of fun."_

"_Get OVER yourself."_

"_Evans, I have nothing. My mother is messed up, my father is a lunatic. My housemates hate me. My professors feel sorry for me. The rest of the kids laugh at me. All I've got is my pride and I'll be damned if I let some overpriced little redhead straight from Gryffindor do some community service by hanging out with me."_

"_I would have walked away a long time ago if this was community service." _

"_Then what is it?"_

"_You don't have the heart to know!" _

"_Who said I didn't have a heart?"_

"_Everyone!" She hoarsely yelled. _

"_Everyone to you; isn't everyone to me."_

"_Severus, you're not so worldly yourself."_

"_Stop acting like we are in the same place."_

"_We ARE in the same place."_

"_Physically maybe, but not mentally."_

"_Because you're so above me!"_

"_Yeah I am"_

"_Jerk! I can't believe I actually thought…"I stopped myself from saying my thoughts. _

"_Thought what?"_

"_I can't believe I thought you'd change- for me"_

"_What?"_

"_Nevermind" She turned from him wiping away a tear that was dangerously close to falling. _

_He grabbed her shoulder and whipped her around._

"_Tell me what you meant."_

"_Severus…"_

"_What?"_

"_Take what you've got and leave what you've lost."_

"_I don't need a fortune cookie card Evans I need to know why you wanted me to change."_

"_Maybe it's hard for you to believe, but I care what happens to you and who happens upon you."_

"_You shouldn't"_

"_But I do."_

_His eyes, formerly glazed over, softened. His limp body looked even paler in the low lighting. She reached out and touched his shirtsleeve and he snatched it away. She wondered if he was that foreign to being touched. _

"_What?" I questioned._

"_Don't." he whispered._

"_Don't what?"_

"_Provoke me."_

"_Provoke you into doing what?"_

"_I am supposed to hate you. I have to hate you."_

"_Why?"_

"_Because that's just the way it is."_

_Almost inadvertently; magnetically She reached out again grasping his larger hand outside her smaller one. This time he did not pull away, but instead looked at their intertwined hands in awe. His black eyes locked to her Jade ones and his free hand cupped her cheek. What was happening? Surely he wasn't…_

_But he was. Severus Snape was leaning in to kiss her. The worst part was; she didn't mind. What's more is she **wanted** it to happen. His lips grazed over hers and it was the purest feeling she'd ever known. She stepped in closer without realizing it. Before she knew it he had snapped away from her and he stormed away in a huff, taking only one second to look back in her direction. _

Was it so wrong for her to wish for him again? Was it wrong for her to replay the scene in her head time and time again? What was so terrible about breaking through boundaries? Would he ever learn to?

When she saw him in the hallway she waited for him to glance her way. She waited for him to acknowledge her. In potions she sat beside him, so he picked up his stuff and moved. In the hallway she tried to catch his eye, but he was gazing directly at the ground. It was useless.

She didn't speak to Severus Snape again for another evening. She had given up her chase and was settling in to do an essay for history of magic when she felt a looming presence over her right shoulder. She looked up and saw him standing there hollowly.

"I can't do this" he croaked.

"I didn't ask you to do anything."

"Evans- Lily, I'm serious. I can't do this, for reasons you will never know. Stop trying to save me. Someone else already has."

He stood up and began to walk away, but reached back and grasped her forearm giving it a reassuring squeeze before stumbling off. As he walked off Lily saw the first tear hit the page of her book and she was sure they were no longer tears of curiosity. They ran deeper. They were in her blood. In her heart…

A/N 

**  
So, first Lily/Snape down! What did you think? I'm sure it was a little OOC, but please forgive me. Or tell me if it's complete crap. You all know I love the flames. I don't know why. Please R/R!**


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